Article written by Rob Stone
There are many times in our lives when we think that things are difficult and indeed stressful but to me one of the most daunting and difficult jobs we have is the one of parenthood. Although women will not appreciate it I felt as a man very stressful the moment our first child appeared on the hospital monitor when the good lady was just a few weeks pregnant. You are immediately conjuring up thoughts in your mind, will the baby be okay, will my wife be okay, how will we cope with another mouth to feed, will we manage on one wage, is my job secure. All in all then many worries and stresses rush through you and your baby is still several months away from being born.
Even if you manage to overcome some anxious moments the role of parenthood is still difficult. Sadly in this day and age and the virtual abolition of what was once called a job for life in many industries the anxiety of keeping a job is paramount and the stress unbelievable. Although you do your best to keep all this pressure to yourself and to not let it affect the children it is easier said than done.
Should your anxiety affect your kids then you are in need of help. Anxiousness causes irritation and sometimes short temperedness. This is all the result of the physical symptoms. Nausea, dizziness, butterflies in your stomach sometimes even in extreme cases actual breathing can cause pain. Days, sometimes weeks are disrupted by anxiety. How can you possible be a good parent when your life is being disrupted by perhaps the threat of redundancy for example? It is difficult to say the least.
How can you let this NOT affect your children? To start with you must check on exactly how the anxiety is affecting you. Do you shout a lot, is your temper almost at boiling point. Children are not stupid and whatever age they are will pick up on these traits and might even be frightened of you. They will undoubtedly pick up the negative vibes that are emanating from you and from your good lady if your anxiety is affecting her as well. You must do your utmost to ensure that your relationship with your children and your partner is not ruined.
Try and observe how your anxiety attitude is affecting your children. Do they appear to panic when you do? If you rush around do you expect them to do the same? Anxiety can definitely be contagious. If it is not possible to pick up any problems with them then check discreetly with their teachers or friends. If problems are occurring then do not panic (this is where we came in!) because it is always possible to patch things up. Remember that children need security and love and that is exactly what you should intend to give them.
Your children will have noticed that things are not how they should be indoors so talk to them. Explain as simply as you can about problems and reach a decision to cope together as a family. This will give them a degree of security and hopefully make them aware that they are also helping you with your own anxiety. You can all help each other. One good way to help is to do breathing exercises together. A family breath-in! Helping everyone at the same time. You feel more relaxed and these relaxing vibes for want of a better expression are seeping through all of you. Quality time is also essential. Give them some of your time. Try and teach them the true way of breathing.
Place a large mat on the floor and turn the TV off. Place chairs in a circle so you can see face to face. All of you sit down and place your hands on your lap. Inhale through your nose for a count of four, hold your breath for a count of seven and exhale for a count of eight. This is just one way that I have tried and tested successfully.
Worrying can only make matters worse. If anxiety is affecting your children all you need is to provide a helping hand. It is difficult for some but well worth the effort.
Rob Stone writes many articles on Health and Fitness to Home Improvement and Childrens Toys such as Nitro RC Cars.
